27 Jun I just can’t get motivated to change

You find it so hard to motivate yourself to change. That means you are like everyone else. Everyone finds it hard to make positive changes. For example:

You want to exercise but you really like the time you spend on the couch with your favorite shows.

You want to eat healthy but everyone in your office keeps ordering pizza for lunch and your willpower evaporates.

You want to meditate everyday in the morning but you also like sleeping late.

This is called ambivalence. You are of two minds. You know you should do something, but you also don’t want to do it. For example, let’s pretend your doctor told you to lose weight. Of course you are ambivalent. A big part of you wants to be slimmer, but another big part of you wants to eat desserts. I think I just described myself, but I bet a lot of you can relate.

So what can resolve this stalemate? How can you make a lasting change? Usually, the first step is easy. Tonight you won’t eat dessert. Yay, you did it. But in a couple days, you are celebrating a friend’s birthday and cake is passed all around. You eat it. Agggh. You fell off the wagon.

Health coaching is the answer.

I can help you. I have been trained in different techniques to help you make positive changes that last. I’ll share an example. But first let me show you what I won’t do:

You: I signed up for coaching because I want to lose weight. My downfall is desserts. I can’t resist. Well sometimes I do, but I have a sweet tooth and give in to temptation way too often.

Not me: Ok, you understand that if you keep going like this, you won’t just be overweight but you’re setting yourself up for diabetes and heart disease. Here’s a handout that lists all the dangers of eating too much sugar and its connection with disease. You need to make a plan. When someone offers you dessert, just say no. Practice saying no in front of a mirror. And keep a record so you can track how many desserts you eat. So see if you can avoid slip ups next week and then we’ll talk again.

That conversation is discouraging. This is NOT how I coach. Mostly, I ask questions, I listen, I reflect back and summarize what you say, and I share information if you want me to. Here’s a better example:

You: I signed up for coaching because I want to lose weight. My downfall is desserts. I can’t resist. Well sometimes I do, but I have a sweet tooth and give in to temptation way too often.

Me: You have a hard time with desserts. Don’t we all, but it is harder for some than others. Can you tell me about times when you gave in to temptation? How about when you managed not to eat dessert? That’s great that you used determination to skip dessert. Does this help us see what your major obstacle is? What do you think would help you overcome this obstacle? Some people use substitutions in a case like this. Would you like to hear some ideas for substitutions for dessert? I have some other strategies you could try if you want. Are you comfortable with the plan you picked? Do you see how these small steps get you closer to your vision of what you want for yourself? Great, see you next week and let me know how it goes. If it doesn’t work, we’ll adjust the plan.

I hope this sounds way more encouraging to you. This strategy of questioning is called Motivational Interviewing. It’s used by competent health coaches and any other profession that helps people change behavior. I learned this technique at the Functional Medicine Coaching Academy, and I studied it so I could pass the exam and become a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach. I’m reviewing Motivational Interviewing right now because I’m going to be teaching it at Delgado Community College in the fall.

I’ve also studied the science of health. I’ve studied probably a couple dozen different diets, as well as exercise benefits and stress management techniques. I’ve researched sleep extensively, because I need to know this for myself. Healing yourself is a great motivator. When conventional medicine wasn’t making me feel better or promising a healthy future, I looked for alternatives. So I studied functional medicine and keep current by reading, listening to webinars, and attending conferences.

So I don’t just ask questions without offering you the information you need for guidance. I just won’t pour it into your head and hope it works. I let you take the lead and I provide you with what you want to know and will help you gain health.

If this sounds like something you could use, contact me. Let’s talk and figure out if I can be your health coach. The intro call is free.

Comments: What are struggling to change in your life?

Chris Kresser Motivational Interviewing

Motivational Interviewing website

Psychology Today Motivational Interviewing

ACE Health Coaching

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